About

So curious, are we? How embarrassing for you. But alas, I do not share my personal information so frivolously. You will not catch me spilling my secrets — not today. Do be a good visitor and close the tab, won't you? There is absolutely nothing of interest here. Trust me, I shan't say anything important, nor anything you'd particularly care to know. Off you go.

Autobiography

Bordeaux, 1920... Are you serious? You really insist on prying into my life, do you? Fine. Here, have your useless trivia. You should understand that everything I’m about to tell you could be a lie. I prefer my suits tailored in Milan. My record for a clean kill is under three seconds. My least favorite wine is a cheap Merlot. I detest poorly made cigarettes, yet I keep a pack of them around to judge people by their taste. There. Are you satisfied? No? Then keep prying, and I'll keep boring you with trivialities. My favorite color is purple, my favorite fabric is silk. As for food and drink, I do not consume anything given to me unless I personally witness its source and preparation. Also, I dislike sugary desserts; bitter chocolate is the only acceptable indulgence. I prefer cats to dogs, naturally. Dogs are insufferably stupid in their blind loyalty. And their incessant barking? Utterly grating. Cats have the dignity to mind their own business, something certain individuals could learn from. I never carry loose change because it jingles and is just undignified and embarrassing. I find most modern art boring, but I'll tolerate it if the wine at the gallery is good. Well, I do hope you're satisfied with all this new information you've acquired.